


not quite out of reach

by murakamism



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Era, Ereri Week, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:03:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4050703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murakamism/pseuds/murakamism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was purely natural, Eren thinks, that he’s fallen in love with Levi, because how couldn’t he?</p><p>Or alternatively: Levi’s grown quite fond of Eren, and he’s not sure how to handle that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not quite out of reach

**Author's Note:**

> **Ereri Week Day One: Pining**   
>  [[every day is a battle i face / strange love but it’s what you decided / i’ll give it all into your hands / do what you will with me, oh]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOIfNyBmZ0g)

There’s no hope, Eren thinks.

Captain Levi—despite being his usual displeased, poker-faced, untalkative self—has been very good to him, honestly. He treats Eren with respect. He accepts him, monster with titan-shifting powers and psychotic determination to kill and all. He’s even patient, in his own quiet little way, and Eren knows the captain wants him to feel at home in the Survey Corps.

But that’s exactly why there’s no hope. Because Levi is not simply Humanity’s Strongest; he is much more. He is a good, strong man. He values his comrades and wants nothing but a better world where they can be free.

In other words, he is way out of Eren’s league.

Of course, Eren admits he hasn’t completely gotten over his hero worship of the man. But coupled with actually getting to know Levi more personally, well...

It’s turned into a crush.

Eren has always been bad at masking his admiration of the captain. He hopes he hasn’t been bad at pretending he isn’t slightly in love with his commanding officer, even though he probably is. Bad at it, you know.

Ah, well.        

It’s times like this that Eren doesn’t even realize he’s been gaping.

The new recruits are currently watching Captain Levi demonstrate some techniques that will save their asses when they’re low on gas. He’s always been better with action than with words, so Hanji’s the one doing the explaining.

Of course, the way Levi methodically twists and turns in the air is nothing but magical. He’s light as a feather, practically riding the wind currents. Every subtle jerk of his hips sends him speeding in another direction.

It’s an exercise that he’s done many times before, and will do many more times in the future. It’s something that saves lives, and will continue saving lives as long as the recruits start their training and learn it properly.

Levi slices away at a dummy titan’s nape. For a moment he’s suspended in the air, steely eyes narrowed in concentration. Eren watches him with bated breath. He’s beautiful, Eren thinks. The sun is bright behind him, illuminating the sharp angles of his face. Hanji mentions something about his form, but Eren can only look up in wonder.

For a moment, Levi’s gaze shifts away from the dummy in front of him. He meets Eren’s eyes, and Eren’s mouth opens slightly. He doesn’t know why, but suddenly his throat is dry.

The captain’s gaze is nothing but intense and serious, even from up in the air. Still, it’s a quiet acknowledgement.

Eren smiles then, his lips pulled wide, because for some reason Levi is _focused_ on him.

Levi looks away and heads back down to the ground. On the way he almost spins, body swinging dangerously close to another dummy titan’s mouth. He hacks away at its nape and descends back to the ground in a split second, the only sound that of his 3dmg wires whirring as they sail through the air.

If Eren had attempted that landing, he knows he would’ve gotten hopelessly entangled in his own wires. He only continues staring at Levi with wide eyes, because _holy shit_ that was _amazing_.

Levi glances at him again before addressing the rest of the recruits. Eren isn’t completely sure, but the man looks less displeased than usual.

Hanji frowns, her arms currently frozen in the air mid-gesture. She clears her throat and continues on.

“Of course, that _last_ move isn’t something you should be concerning yourselves with yet. It’s too advanced for you guys. Focus on keeping your momentum so you use as little gas as possible...”

 

 

“Really, Levi, you’re usually not such a show-off,” Hanji begins.

“What are you going on about?” Levi asks. They’re currently in Levi’s office, with Hanji on his couch. He’s scrutinizing some paperwork with great disdain. The corner of his mouth twitches downwards, but maybe that’s just because of what Hanji’s saying.

“Derailing the new recruits’ training session just because of wanting to impress our cute little Eren...” Hanji _tsk_ ’s at him softly, but it sounds more like a snicker.

“You really need to get your glasses checked, you crazy—“

There’s a knock on the door.

Levi sighs, leaning back against his chair.

The door swings open and Eren appears, a tray of tea in his hands. Hanji throws her arms up in the air and gives a happy hum of approval.

“Good afternoon, Captain Levi, Squad Leader Hanji,” Eren greets them, stepping into the room quickly. Hanji approaches and pats him hard on the back.

The tea almost spills.

Levi scowls. Eren only blinks.

“Great timing! Good afternoon to you too, Eren. I have to head back now. All those reports won’t write themselves, hah! Have fun keeping our grump company!” Hanji practically twirls away. She waves at them and exits, shutting the door behind her with a final click.

Eren isn’t sure what to make of it.

Well, she’s always been a little weird...

He turns to Levi and finds the man buried in paperwork.

When Eren sets his teacup down on an empty spot on the desk—with a saucer, of course—he’s surprised to see the captain tense in his seat. The man’s jaw is clenched tight, and he looks ready to bolt at any moment.

Eren frowns. Had he come in at the wrong time?

The captain’s obviously very busy. He has no time for idle chatter. Eren looks down guiltily, unconsciously making himself smaller as he pours in the captain’s favorite blend of tea.

He stands up once the cup is full. Levi usually waves him away after taking one quick sip, but the captain only stares at the steam rising. He’s quiet. Eren shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

Should he speak?

Will the captain accept his words if it’s a personal matter?

They continue on in silence for another stretch of time. Eren clears his throat and tries to sound gentle.

“Is everything all right, Captain?” he asks. Levi swallows. Eren’s eyes follow the bob of his throat, just above his cravat.

“What did you think of today’s demonstration?” Levi asks him. He looks up and meets Eren’s eyes. Eren bites his lip, unsure of what to say. The captain’s gaze is focused entirely on him. It’s much too intense, almost as if the man can see right through him and his thoughts. It’s much different from earlier in the afternoon, during the demonstration.

This one requires an answer.

“It was very impressive, sir!” Eren finally manages. He nods firmly. “You were amazing. I’ve never seen someone move so quickly and gracefully before—“

Levi’s eyes widen, ever so slightly, and Eren winces.

Still, he continues on, his voice rising. Be professional, Eren thinks. “Ah, it really inspired me! I want to work even harder now. I hope I’ll be able to meet your standards, sir!”

Levi turns towards him carefully. His knee bumps against Eren’s shin and the boy tries not drop the tray in his hands.

“You’ll get there one day if you work hard enough,” Levi tells him. His voice is low. “I know you can.”

Eren grins wide. He can’t help it, not when Levi tells him something like that.

“Th-thank you, sir!” he says, almost too loud. Levi snorts softly. A small crease appears at the edge of his eyes. It makes him look more relaxed.

Levi turns back to his desk then. He holds up his teacup in that peculiar way of his and then manages a small sip. The steam has abated somewhat, but the heat has never really seemed to bother him.

“This brew is more bearable,” Levi says. He takes another sip and Eren beams harder, if that’s even possible. He grips the tray in his hands and bows his head down slightly. He can’t salute, so it will have to do.

“Thank you. I’m glad,” he replies, and then tries not to laugh.

Levi’s being very generous with his compliments today. Eren is not unappreciative.

“You can retire for the night,” Levi says, glancing up at him briefly. Eren nods again, stepping backwards. He doesn’t need to be locked up anymore, even though he still sleeps in the dungeon.

“Goodnight, Captain,” Eren says, his lips quirking up into a smaller smile. Levi’s head almost imperceptibly tilts forward.

He doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t need to. Eren understands the wordless goodnight; it’s there at the glint in Levi’s eye and the small nod of his head.

 

 

Levi crosses his arms over his chest and tries not to step into the kitchen.

He watches Eren wash the dishes. A few more steps and the boy will be just in his reach.

Levi frowns at the thought.

It’s late at night and everyone else on kitchen duty should be done by now. Still, Eren dutifully finishes up his chores—and other people’s chores, by the looks of it.

Levi feels a short burst of irritation. The other soldiers shouldn’t be slacking off, and they definitely shouldn’t be leaving their chores for other people to do.

At least Eren’s starting to learn how to pick up after himself. And others.

He’s improved at his cleaning too.

The only sound is the clinking of the dishes and the running faucet. Eren is surprisingly neat, not even spilling excess water onto the floors or counters.

Eren’s back seems broader under the sparse lamplight. He bends his head down and Levi catches a flash of exposed skin at his nape.

The captain isn’t sure why he’s standing there. All right, he supposes it’s to make sure Eren doesn’t fuck up and break anything.

He can’t find a good reason why he’s suddenly mesmerized by the sight. He’s always been fond of Eren. Every now and then he does something so unexpected that Levi can’t help but acknowledge him, be impressed.

Levi isn’t sure why he suddenly looks forward to being impressed again.

The brunet finally turns off the tap. He pulls his sleeves higher up his elbows and reaches for a rag.

Levi finally decides to approach.

The captain’s footsteps are light. Eren jumps when he notices someone behind him, but as soon as he sees that it’s the captain his mouth falls open slightly.

Levi wordlessly takes another dry cloth.

“Captain,” Eren says.

“Start drying them off,” Levi tells him instead. The captain begins wiping some bowls dry.

Eren nods furiously. He immediately steps beside Levi and starts to dry off plates as well. He bites his lip.

Levi watches him from the corner of his eye. When their elbows brush together—all right, Levi might be standing too close but he doesn’t move away—Eren jerks.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, voice hushed, and Levi has the urge to press against him even further.

He doesn’t, though. They continue drying the dishes in silence. It grows comfortable after a short while, almost companionable. Eren has calmed down. He starts to put the dishes away in their proper cupboards.

When they finish, Levi half-heartedly hangs the damp cloth to dry. When he turns back he catches Eren staring at him intently.

For once, the boy doesn’t seem surprised.

“Do you want to walk back together, Captain?” Eren asks, smiling.

“Are you asking me to walk with you to the dungeon?”

“No, um,” Eren stops then. He wrinkles his nose and looks down at the floor, lost in thought. He’s unbearably cute, Levi thinks, and—

Wait. Is Eren really _cute_?

Levi blinks, stunned by the revelation. He knows Eren is attractive, will be much more attractive as he grows older. The boy is a stunner, even with that gawky frame. Eren is long limbs and soft brown hair, smooth tanned skin and hardening muscle, entrancing green eyes and brilliant smile.

And Eren is passionate, determined, even though he is remarkably stubborn. Eren is loyal, blazing, loving. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for the ones he cares about.

He admires Levi—probably because he is Humanity’s Strongest, the captain thinks—and Levi won’t ever admit that he might... show off a bit just to see Eren’s reactions.

Oh, fuck, Levi thinks.

“Your quarters are nearer, right?” Eren asks. He then winces, a grimace on his lips. “Wait, I mean, I want to walk with you there. And then I’ll return to the dungeon. If that’s all right, sir.”

Levi raises a brow. Eren has never been _that_ straightforward.

The boy stares at him, brows slightly furrowed in worry. Still, he stands with his back up straight. He waits for Levi’s reply, his mouth set in a tight line.

Well, Levi doesn’t exactly want to say no.

Eren really needs to work on his wording next time, though.

“Why?” the captain asks instead. Eren relaxes, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck.

“Honestly? I just want to.” Eren beams, hands falling to his sides. Levi wishes that his heart would stop fluttering. He’s a grown man, damn it.

That’s also no way to talk to your commanding officer, Levi thinks. He stares at Eren, pinning him down with a harsh stare. Eren’s smile doesn’t falter.

The captain swallows a dry lump in his throat.

“You want really strange things,” he says, walking past Eren. He can imagine the boy’s crestfallen face. It’s why he refuses to look behind him.

“So, that’s a... no?” Eren asks, voice small. Levi shuts his eyes tight for a second, trying to regain his composure.

“You can walk with me, although I don’t know what the hell you’d get out of it.”

Eren makes wide strides all the way to reach him. He’s grinning again, almost bouncing on his heels. He’s like an overexcited puppy. Levi snorts softly.

It’s endearing.

They walk in silence. Levi’s quarters aren’t that far. Eren hasn’t even tried to make conversation, which is surprising, but neither of them is uncomfortable. When they finally reach Levi’s door the captain turns to Eren, ready to dismiss him.

Eren has his hands behind his back. His gaze is focused on Levi’s door.

“How was that?” Levi asks. He really shouldn’t care, but he finds himself saying it anyway.

Eren’s gaze flits back to him. He meets Levi’s eyes and gives a small, shy smile.

“Good,” Eren says.

The captain gives a noncommittal hum. He reaches for the doorknob and wonders how best to dismiss the boy, if a wave would suffice when he knows Eren probably wants a “good night” back.

“Thank you for keeping me company, Captain,” Eren says. He swallows, body leaning away to take a step back. But he hesitates at the last second, his eyes glinting with an emotion Levi can’t quite place.

“I don’t know what you were watching for, but I hope whatever I’ve done tonight has met your standards. Good night, sir.” Eren speaks awkwardly and too fast. He flashes Levi another grin before turning away. Levi doesn’t even have the chance to reply.

Eren disappears around the corner, his footsteps slowly receding into the distance.

The captain isn’t sure but... had Eren been aware that he’d been watching for quite a while?

Oh shit, well.

That must have been responsible for the boy’s sudden burst of courage.

Levi shakes his head and enters his room.

He tries very hard not to think about meeting Eren that way again.

 

 

Captain Levi sits alone under the shade of a tree several feet away.

They’ve taken a short break from training, and the man looks drowsy and tired. It’s the summer heat, sucking all the energy out of all of them.

Eren jogs up to the captain, an extra canteen in his hand, because he wants to join him under the shade of the tree. And maybe rest together. If Levi doesn’t shoo him away, that is.

Levi looks up when he stands over him, blocking away some of the sun. Eren beams at him, still wondering what to say.

The captain’s eyes widen slightly, but he doesn’t look displeased.

“Can I sit next to you, sir?” Eren asks. He’s glad that he doesn’t sound shy.

Levi’s mouth tightens into a thin line. His gaze lowers for a split second, but then he looks back up at Eren and gives a small nod.

Eren tries not to sit too close. He stretches out his legs and gives a happy sigh as a breeze comes in.

“Why won’t you sit with your friends?” Levi asks. The captain shifts slightly. He crosses his legs, a knee close enough to Eren’s thigh that they could touch if either of them made the slightest movement.

“I wanted to sit with you,” Eren replies. He inspects the captain’s face, appreciating the curve of his jaw. He wants to move closer until their legs and shoulders press together. He wants to know what the captain’s hand would feel like in his.

There’s nothing wrong with that, right?

It’s not as if Levi hates him. Levi’s been treating him better and better lately, and while Eren thinks that Levi isn’t romantically interested in him, it doesn’t mean that the man hates his company, right?

He likes spending time with him, even if it’s in silence. Even if it’s while doing chores or sitting under trees for a quick break.

Eren will take what he can get. Eren wants to try for more.

Something dark passes through Levi’s eyes. He looks at Eren, face blank, but the brunet waits patiently.

“Really, Eren,” Levi says. To a stranger his voice would sound flat, but Eren can hear the subtle shift in his tone. He sounds exasperated. “What is it that you want from me?”

Eren blinks. He can’t tell Levi what he wants. He definitely can’t.

Even Eren isn’t sure what exactly he wants.

A kiss, maybe. Or even just a hug. A secret. A smile.

“Do I need a reason for wanting to be here with you?” Eren asks instead, because his heartbeat is starting to pound in his chest. Levi frowns slightly, as if berating him for answering his question with another question.

“I’m a shitty companion,” Levi mutters. He looks away then. Eren senses that he wants this conversation to be over, but Eren doesn’t want that.

“No, you’re not,” Eren argues. He frowns too.

Levi raises a brow. He looks thoughtful for a moment before sighing and leaning back. His knee gently presses against Eren’s thigh.

Eren tries hard not to grin at the casual contact. He fails miserably.

Still, there’s a shine in Levi’s eye that wasn’t there before.

“Then you just have shitty taste in companions,” Levi says, his voice level. Eren huffs. He dares to brush his hand against the man’s leg under the pretense of putting his hands in his lap.

He isn’t as subtle as he thinks he is.

“That’s a harsh judgement, sir.”

“You think so?”

“Personally, I’m _really_ fond of my companion right now.”

Levi doesn’t reply. Eren pauses. Has he gone too far? He glances at Levi nervously, his hand frozen against the older man’s knee.

The captain looks away. He sighs then, a crease forming between his brows. When he turns his head back to look at Eren the boy can only stare at him silently.

“You know, words like that can be easily misunderstood,” Levi tells him, his steely gray eyes focused on Eren almost like a challenge. Eren bristles, huffing.

“There’s nothing to be misunderstood,” he says, because it’s true. He’s very fond of the captain. He might have a crush on the man, but he knows that it’s slowly becoming something more than that. He cares for Levi deeply, admires him more than anyone else, and still appreciates his quiet kindness, no matter how stiff or awkward.

After coming to terms with his feelings, Eren only accepts them wholeheartedly.

(It was purely natural, he thinks, that he’s fallen in love with Levi, because how couldn’t he?)

“Of course,” Levi breathes. His face is suddenly closer. There is no tenseness in his expression.

The captain carefully places a hand on Eren’s wrist. The edge of his mouth tugs upwards slightly.

“Get back to training,” Levi tells him. Eren can’t help but scowl. The captain chuckles at his reaction.

He brushes his fingers softly against Eren’s palm before releasing his grip. He stands up and stretches his arms, inhaling sharply.

Eren watches.

“Can I talk to you again later?” Eren asks. Levi turns his head to look at him.

“If you want to,” Levi replies.

Eren smiles.

He wouldn’t want anything else.


End file.
